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A Guide to Ageing

Laura Scott would rather grow old gracefully than start digging for snails

Published on October 26th 2011.

A Guide to Ageing

WITH time, comes change, and unfortunately ageing is an inevitable course of life. But when you spot the lingering signs of crow’s feet around your eyes does all hell break loose? Do you make a bee-line for the Avon catalogue, ordering everything with ‘anti-wrinkle’ in the title?

These days there’s every beauty tool offered on a ginormous plate for us to try and combat the signs of ageing - hair dyes, under-eye roll on, even DIY botox (the mere thought of which makes my nerve endings squeal).

All of the above, of course, are short-term where pain equals gain (for a few weeks). Which begs the question, is it really worth it? 

Firstly, you are only as old as you feel. Maintain the mindset of your youthful self and you’ll be happier. 

The ongoing battle is natural vs plastic. Do we choose to grow old gracefully à la Helen Mirren or do we follow the likes of Lulu and look the youngest we’ve ever been when we’re nearing retirement age? 

According to a study we have already reached our mental peak at the innocent age of 22, hardly giving you (or your skin) a boost - confidence or otherwise.  

Ageing is an inevitable course of life.Ageing is an inevitable course of life.

Teenage years are spent plastering on the slap to get into pubs and clubs yet once passed that 'old' landmark that is the big three-o, the slap is substituted with a teeny tiny pot of wonder cream that should really be made from gold leaves with that price tag. And, apparently, smearing a 24-carat gold face mask on your chops will leave you looking glowing. Has the life of Benjamin Button become appealing to us? Would we rather grow young? Surely not.

If your purse strings won’t stretch as far as a pot of gold, there’s always the cheaper alternative and next best thing - injecting your face with sheep embryos. And you thought the back of your Nivea Q-10 tub was baffling. Definitely a baa-d idea.

In keeping with the animal theme, there’s also the slimy-sounding Snail Ooze Facial. This promises to boost your skin’s elasticity, which is all well and good, just know when to stop, ie. when you begin to notice a large shell protruding from your back.

Snail Ooze FacialSnail Ooze Facial?
What I never understand is people encouraging you to date a younger person so you feel more 'youthful.' Sure it sounds all well and good, and you most certainly have the better end of the bargain, (I mean just look at those abs) but when you enter a restaurant and the waitress eyeballs you both with a look of disdain, surely that negates the whole charade? Even more so, when he asks for the kid’s menu.

So, how do you sidestep this ageing landmine?

Firstly, you are only as old as you feel. Maintain the mindset of your youthful self and you’ll be happier. Hey, you may even get ID’d when buying a bottle of chardonnay at your local. Result.

If grey hairs send you spiralling into a pitfall of stress, it’s okay to reach for the Nice ‘n’ Easy, and cover up. Just don’t keep yanking them out – it’s painful and let’s face it, carry on with that and you’ll be as bald as your dad.

Don’t be lured in by adverts promising ‘replenishment’ and ‘renewal.’ Stick with a basic, averagely-priced moisturiser you can use morning and night in your cleansing routine.

Everyone has the right to choose what they want to do to make them feel better about themselves, whether it be to embrace each wrinkle as a ‘laughter line,’ or go under the knife for the Donatella Versace look.

But when you find yourself in the garden hunting for ingredients for your DIY snail facial, you know you’ve got a problem.

Follow Laura on Twitter @laursco

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