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Regular Einstein Awards

The best of this week's absurd news and fatuous people

Written by . Published on December 1st 2011.

Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. Drum roll please...

The ‘Make Sure You Wash Your Hands After Award’
goes to…
The world’s first urine controlled video game coming soon to a pub toilet near you. Yes, if blokes did not have enough trouble hitting the target after a couple of pints. The Exhibit Bar in Clapham currently has a choice of three games testing urinating and gaming skills.

Caviar The ‘Has The Catch Of the Day Been DNA Certified’ Award? goes to…
Genetic experts from the sinister sounding Consortium for the Barcode of Life who are using DNA technology to validate the caviar you ordered is not a cheap substitute. Apparently it will be used to combat restaurants serving up fish imposters as seafood delicacies.   

The ‘Screw Batman There’s A Flying Man’ Award goes to…
51-year-old Yves Rossy known as ‘Jet Man’ who flies through the sky doing speeds of 125 mph. The Swiss pilot wearing a custom built jet pack gets his kicks racing Albatross jet planes. Is this the future of travel?

Pampas_Grass The ‘I Am Not A Swinger Honest’ Award goes to…
Mariella Frostrup who was swamped with offers of a bit of partner swapping after placing a couple of pampas pot plants on her balcony. Apparently the plants are well known code for the up-for-it swingers fraternity.

Katherine-Goldberg The ‘Is That Not Part Of The In-Flight Entertainment?’ Award’ goes to…
Teacher Katherine Goldberg who proceeded to grope a male air steward after necking a copious amount of whiskey on a Virgin Atlantic flight. Goldberg admitted that she was so out of it that she thought the steward was actually her boyfriend.

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