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Regular Einstein Awards

The best of this week's absurd news and fatuous people

Written by . Published on January 12th 2012.


Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. And the award goes to…


Thierry Henry
for the ”Good To Have You Back” Award
No sooner had a bronze statue been unveiled in his honour than Mr Va Va Voom himself was back playing for the Gooners and making a Cinderella story appearance when coming off the bench to score the winning goal of the game in typical Henry fashion.


London-2012-Olympic-Mascot

London 2012 Olympics for the “Get Behind It Even If You Could Not Give A Toss” Award
Cameron, Boris and Olympic organisers have been rallying around telling us to get excited at the London Olympics countdown. Two hundred days left until you can see such marvels as overweight men chucking a small steel ball or people running 26 miles for no other reason than they can.


Lucy_56945T

Celebrity Big Brother for the “Really, Is That Still On?” Award
Seriously there was a time when Big Bro was mildly diverting for a voyeuristic peek, a bitch, a moan or a gloat but its longevity is puzzling. Channel 5 have gone for the full-on mammary prospect throwing in as many glamour models as possible plus a total tit from the X Factor.


Hs2

HS2 for the “Annoying Countryside Tories” Award
Ah, always amusing to see news teams in the countryside talking to disgruntled Tory out-of- towners moaning about falling house prices, disruptions to their way of life and blights to the landscape.  


Bluesapphire

Kate Middleton for the “Bringing the Sloaney Look To The Masses” Award
Our Kate (a.k.a. Duchess of somewhere) has reportedly given the economy a £1billion boast as women everywhere try to copy the Kate look. Particularly popular have been sales in nude tights (up 65%), sapphire rings (up 300%) and Reiss and Issa dresses worn by Kate (sold out).

 

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