Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. Drum roll please...

“The It’s All Over Now” Award goes to…
Allegedly gay penguins Buddy and Pedro. After spending a year inseparable and displaying mating behaviour Toronto’s famous African penguins have officially split. After having some sexuality issues Buddy is back mating with females while Pedro is still holding onto his Brokeback Mountain memories.

“The What Would You Do For A Cheaper Holiday” Award goes to...

The queue of models that stood in the freezing cold outside a Virgin holiday store in Kensington. Another typically winning Branston publicity stunt.

“The We Know What You Are Up To Award” goes to…
David Cameron. The PM showed his true colours by vetoing plans on greater regulation and taxing of the markets at the EU Summit. Cue large cheers and drinks all round for rich bankers and city types, business as usual then.

“The Don’t Fair Dodge In Scotland” Award goes to…

The rather large man who physically ejected a drunken, abusive fare dodger on the Edinburgh/ Perth Scot Rail service. Terrorists, fare evaders – all the same; you take the ‘pish’ in Scotland and you’re asking for trouble.

‘The Tis The Season to be Giving” Award goes to…

The Admiral Theatre. The Chicago strip club is offering free lap dances for anyone donating toys to poor children. It seems Christmas has come early for dads this year.