Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. And the winner is…

Magic Mushrooms for the” Don’t Worry Be Happy” Award
Scientists have revealed that an active ingredient found in magic mushrooms could help fight depression. A study conducted at Imperial College London highlighted how psilocybin aided volunteer users to vividly remember positive experiences in their lives.

Sir Richard Branson for the “Legalise Weed” Award
For once beardy was not ostensibly self-promoting but talking to MPs about failed ‘drug wars’ as a member of the Global Commission on drug policy which includes former UN secretary general Kofi Annan.

Harry Redknapp for the “Sucks To Have The Inland Revenue On Your Case” Award
Poor ‘Arry’ has been in court this week after being a little forgetful about cash payments into an offshore account in Monaco. As a result the prospect of being the next England manager look unlikely.

Woman With Two Vaginas for the “Not A Doug Stanhope Joke, Honest” Award
Hazel Jones, a 27-year-old British woman, who was diagnosed with having two wombs and two cervixes, turned down an offer of $1 million to star in a porn film.

Never Liked It Anyway Website for the “Best Amusing Break Up Site” Award
Break ups can be a traumatic experience so what better way to bounce back than flog stuff that your ex gave you and vent a little.

London 2012 Beach Volleyball for the “Government Officials Most Popular Spectator Sport” Award
It’s official, beach volleyball at 2012 will be attended by more government officials than any other sport. More than 400 tickets have been bought by government departments for volleyball compared to 246 for athletics.