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Regular Einstein Awards

The best of this week's absurd news and fatuous people

Written by . Published on December 30th 2011.


Regular Einstein Awards

WE scour the local and international media to bring you the best and worst our planet has to offer. Drum roll please...

“Please Mind The Gap” Award goes to…
The drunken women who managed to fall over and roll between a stationery train and the platform at Barnsley Station. The woman was luckily not injured by the incident.


”The Have You Gone Out Of Your Mind” Award goes to…
The nation’s early bird shoppers who were queuing at 5am for the shops to open on Boxing Day. Was it a result of Xmas cabin fever, insomnia or mind control?


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“The Can You Be A Little More Mancunian?” Award goes to...
Manchester City Airport who are insisting that their call centre staff speak to customers in an authentic Mancunian accent. For those that are not au fait with typical Northern dialect, a linguistics specialist will be on hand to help newbies with the local accent. Presumably operators will then be able to answer the phone with "alright our kid are you sorted?"


“The Don’t Shoot The Messenger Award” Award goes to...
Swedish prosecutors who have charged a reporter and editor of a leading Swedish newspaper for buying a gun, even though it was done to highlight how easy it is to buy a firearm in Malmo.  It took a reporter five hours to buy a 7.65 millimetre Crvena Zastava before it was then turned over to the police.


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“The Most Tantalising Ridiculous” Award of the Year goes to…
Pippa Middleton’s bottom. It was probably only a natural leap of evolution. From obsessions about everything celebrity orientated the media served up Pippa’s newsworthy tush on a silver platter. As Paul Weller once famously sung, "And the public gets what the public wants."

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